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  1. #17376
    Elite LC's Avatar
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    I asked if they had Garfield Monopoly, not realizing that was actually a thing.

    She seemed rustled by my reasonable offer of $8000 for that big thiccc Garfield cock

  2. #17377
    YOU BETTER WATCH OUT Red Neville's Avatar
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    Manchester United Greater Western Sydney Sporting Gijon
    Noughties meme alert: I assume she already has this one

    Souvent pour s'amuser les hommes d'equipage
    And it's like talking to a stranger

  3. #17378
    Salty seaman Anchorman's Avatar
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    Don't forget Rasta-monopoly and Gallip-olopoly
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle E View Post
    Sex is not a virtuous act unless it is for procreation.

    Consensual sex is an act of mutual exploitation. There is nothing positive to be gained from ejaculation, orgasm and physical sexual interaction. It only causes physiological deterioration.

  4. #17379
    Veteran Fools Gold's Avatar
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    Joined a lawn bowls club and played my first game on the weekend. Fk me old people are good fun.

    Belted the other cunts 34-12, also had some comments made on my 'very smooth bowling action'. Pretty sure it's just because I can bend without assistance.
    We demand an investigation into the replacement of referee Rafshan Irmatov and his departure at a difficult time in such an important match. We ask for an examination of the grassland that was not suitable for the Syrian team, while Australian players seem to be wearing shoes that cling to the long grass, so we saw Syrian players fall during the game, while Australia's players are steady.

  5. #17380
    Elite LC's Avatar
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    You always know its gonna be a good week when you're able to take a massive shit before lunch on a Monday that has you dropping a belt notch by the time you stand up, and then walking back to your desk, you have that slight stomach rumble that makes you think you're only one cup of poorly prepared Nescafe away from performing the equivalent of an exorcism on your lower colon.

    Looking like a two counter meal type of day.

  6. #17381
    Veteran wolfgang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fools Gold View Post
    Joined a lawn bowls club and played my first game on the weekend. Fk me old people are good fun.

    Belted the other cunts 34-12, also had some comments made on my 'very smooth bowling action'. Pretty sure it's just because I can bend without assistance.
    NICE GARRY

  7. #17382
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fools Gold View Post
    Joined a lawn bowls club and played my first game on the weekend. Fk me old people are good fun.

    Belted the other cunts 34-12, also had some comments made on my 'very smooth bowling action'. Pretty sure it's just because I can bend without assistance.
    Literally about to go play lawn bowls

    I play a once or twice a month and have for the last 1-2 years. Generally just play whoever is there as someones always around for a game.
    I JUST DELETED YOUR ASS!!!

  8. #17383
    Veteran yeah_nah's Avatar
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    Imagine being an innocent bystander then all of a sudden you're playing embers in lawn bowls

    Sent from my Moto G (5S) using Tapatalk
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle E View Post
    I then started saving extra money as a result of eating dumpster food.

    I knew when to hit the dumpster for optimum catch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle E View Post
    accualy scared of getting knocked out by yenny
    #broughtback

  9. #17384
    Veteran Fools Gold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Literally about to go play lawn bowls

    I play a once or twice a month and have for the last 1-2 years. Generally just play whoever is there as someones always around for a game.
    I thought about just doing night owls, but it wasn't structured/competitive enough, and I generally like to do some for of competitive sport in the off season, been wanting to play for a while but never got the time to suss a place to play at until my mate suggested the club down the road from him. The aesthetic of the place is amazing, like the renos that they did in the 70s was the last renovation done, all the way down to the chairs they still have inside, absolutely love that part of it too. They still play in whites as well even though most of the competition have moved to full coloured kits.

    Quote Originally Posted by yeah_nah View Post
    Imagine being an innocent bystander then all of a sudden you're playing embers in lawn bowls

    Sent from my Moto G (5S) using Tapatalk
    The chat is the best part of it I reckon! The old boys in my team over the weekend were all in their 70s, one bloke was 82 and the team we played was all women in their 70s, so to have a 28 year old in the squad obviously sent the crowd into raptures. Overhearing the women talk about "these guys just want to come to my house and put in this MBM's, I don't even know what it is". "Oh Lyn, it's the new internet, but it disrupts your landline"

    Few points during the day they called for a measure and fuck me these two oldies from either team trying to bend to measure looked horiffic, I tried twice to help them out, but the second time I got a stern "we can handle this". No worries Mary, you're on ya own.

    $5 beers, sandwiches, cakes and a meat tray raffle at half time + getting 'rink of the week' with the best score = free beer. How could you not like this sport

    However, lawn bowls are fucking expensive though, my grandfathers (that I use) were made in 1960-61, so they're not very forviging, hoping some old cunt can give me a spare set but looks like that baby boomer spare money is going into the local pokies and not into up and coming super stars.
    We demand an investigation into the replacement of referee Rafshan Irmatov and his departure at a difficult time in such an important match. We ask for an examination of the grassland that was not suitable for the Syrian team, while Australian players seem to be wearing shoes that cling to the long grass, so we saw Syrian players fall during the game, while Australia's players are steady.

  10. #17385
    #408 Rumblah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeah_nah View Post
    Imagine being an innocent bystander then all of a sudden you're playing embers in lawn bowls

    Sent from my Moto G (5S) using Tapatalk
    Goals.
    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Did I become this awesome or was it something I was born with?

    Im not sure myself. I think it is one of those things where I was born with a crop of awesome and then I have kind of watered the gardens, tended to the farm and created this farmable mass of fantastic brilliance. I have so much to give and share out but just not enough hours in the day to give it all out.

    Its hard sometimes

  11. #17386
    Veteran Dogbloke V3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeah_nah View Post
    Imagine being an innocent bystander then all of a sudden you're playing embers in lawn bowls

    Sent from my Moto G (5S) using Tapatalk
    Reckon itís worth hanging around lawn bowl clubs everyday just for that one in a million shot

  12. #17387
    Good thanks Jihad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fools Gold View Post
    Joined a lawn bowls club and played my first game on the weekend. Fk me old people are good fun.

    Belted the other cunts 34-12, also had some comments made on my 'very smooth bowling action'. Pretty sure it's just because I can bend without assistance.
    My dad lives in the Barossa and recently joined the league out there. He became friends with three nanas and he now gives them a lift every week. They offered him petrol money but he refused, so instead they pay him in sandwiches/scones/jam/fruit

    I wouldn't mind giving it a crack but I'd need to have a serious preseason or two before joining a league.
    Last edited by Jihad; 29th October 2018 at 08:40 PM.

  13. #17388
    Good thanks Jihad's Avatar
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    Double post ffs

  14. #17389
    #408 Rumblah's Avatar
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    GOAT deal for your old man.
    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Did I become this awesome or was it something I was born with?

    Im not sure myself. I think it is one of those things where I was born with a crop of awesome and then I have kind of watered the gardens, tended to the farm and created this farmable mass of fantastic brilliance. I have so much to give and share out but just not enough hours in the day to give it all out.

    Its hard sometimes

  15. #17390
    #FlyEaglesFly sblack's Avatar
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    Did Lawn Bowles in primary school. And then worked in a bowls club behind the bar. Can confirm cunts get loose on cheap beers. And its pretty fun
    TTP

  16. #17391
    Ohh ok lol rossi's Avatar
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    Lawn bowls was one of my year 12 PE sports. Was pretty fun. I also live 2 mins away from a club so maybe I should get into it.

  17. #17392
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Genuinely staggers me that Bindi Irwin isn't in USA snorting cocaine of some black rappers cock at this point in her life. Pretty amazing recovery I reckon
    I JUST DELETED YOUR ASS!!!

  18. #17393
    Veteran Narkee's Avatar
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    Need a Fools Gold lawn bowls adventures thread

  19. #17394
    Veteran Fools Gold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jihad View Post
    My dad lives in the Barossa and recently joined the league out there. He became friends with three nanas and he now gives them a lift every week. They offered him petrol money but he refused, so instead they pay him in sandwiches/scones/jam/fruit

    I wouldn't mind giving it a crack but I'd need to have a serious preseason or two before joining a league.
    Nah just join, it's not a hard sport to learn, once you know the trajectory of your ball it's just all about getting the release right.
    We demand an investigation into the replacement of referee Rafshan Irmatov and his departure at a difficult time in such an important match. We ask for an examination of the grassland that was not suitable for the Syrian team, while Australian players seem to be wearing shoes that cling to the long grass, so we saw Syrian players fall during the game, while Australia's players are steady.

  20. #17395
    Elite LC's Avatar
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    How is it some enterprising but ultimately terminally ill kid hasn't told the Make A Wish foundation that his dying wish was to own one of the apartments on the Block?

    Also, fuck those cunts who owned the Gatwick buying one of the penthouses off the money made from kicking everyone out on the streets.

  21. #17396
    Veteran trigg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LC View Post

    Also, fuck those cunts who owned the Gatwick buying one of the penthouses off the money made from kicking everyone out on the streets.
    Serious? They owned the building they can do what they want. They own it, they can do as they wish.

    Imagine how shit it would be running that place as it was previously, it's not something you can do forever, and good luck getting 10 mil from someone to run it as it was.

  22. #17397
    Elite LC's Avatar
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    Offers were made to leave it as its original purpose too, slight difference in pricing, but if you've done that for 50 years, I can't believe it was that much difference.. Subsequently, there's a shit tonne of people they haven't been able to re-locate, and most are now just camping out the front of the 7-11 across the road.

    Contextually, it seemed a contrived effort from Ch 9 to address the issues of gentrifying the area at the expense of people in need (they were always going to get one). Quite right - do what you want, but, why not buy an apartment elsewhere? Essentially rubbing it in on those who are now without a place to stay seemed unnecessary. Decent amount of options with 10 mill.
    Last edited by LC; 30th October 2018 at 11:14 AM.

  23. #17398
    Veteran BobbyMorri's Avatar
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    What the hell. When did Halloween become an actual thing in Australia?

    My first trick and treater. Great......

    Also, kids, If I ignore the first 2 rings, I won't be picking up the 3rd. Try on someone's door who actually cares, please.
    Scunthorpe

  24. #17399
    Elite Athomas's Avatar
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    Realising our doorbell system has an on/off button was bliss

  25. #17400
    Veteran yeah_nah's Avatar
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    My street sent out a letter with a balloon in it, saying if you want to participate put the balloon up out front.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle E View Post
    I then started saving extra money as a result of eating dumpster food.

    I knew when to hit the dumpster for optimum catch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle E View Post
    accualy scared of getting knocked out by yenny
    #broughtback

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