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Thread: Tennis Thread

  1. #826
    One betting disc please Gamblor's Avatar
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    Can imagine Duckworth visualising how he is going to win.

    A congenital heart defect positive COVID test has struck down Duckworth's opponent moments before entering the arena.

  2. #827
    YOU BETTER WATCH OUT Red Neville's Avatar
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    Sounds pretty similar to how Tomic got through tbh
    Souvent pour s'amuser les hommes d'equipage
    And it's like talking to a stranger

  3. #828
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Duckworth to lose in 3 sets at 2.10

    "Hi honey, ive sold the house and bet it all on Duckworth to lose in 3 sets"
    "You fucking idiot, whats wrong with you? You should have bet all the money in the bank too"

  4. #829
    Veteran BobbyVanVeen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Duckworth to lose in 3 sets at 2.10

    "Hi honey, ive sold the house and bet it all on Duckworth to lose in 3 sets"
    "You fucking idiot, whats wrong with you? You should have bet all the money in the bank too"
    can't believe I missed that. What an interest rate.
    Scunthorpe

  5. #830
    Veteran kerrigan's Avatar
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    I got on at 2.50

    Thanks guru
    Paul Fraud IS A RINGLESS CUNT AND FLOG

  6. #831
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    I feel a little bit guilty myself. I robbed the bookies here. It was too easy

    I might email them and see if they can take a refund.

  7. #832
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Email sent

    Hi

    I put a bet on James Duckworth today to lose in 3 sets and I believe I may have taken advantage of your good nature and im feeling a little bit regretful of exploiting the situation for my own gain

    As a gesture of goodwill, are you able to take 25% of the profit I made? It will make my soul feel better

    Thanks

  8. #833
    comfortably numb flight23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Im the hero football needs and deserves you will find

  9. #834
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    If I was James Duckworth id accept the fact I have absolutely no tennis talent whatsoever and really go that edgy butthole route like Kyrgios has done but with more clothing apparrell and cheekiness too it

    So a more rap persona version of Nick Kyrgios to get him some press but not like overly bad press. More like the cheeky smartass press. First thing id do is help him create his own clothing line called "Get Ducked". After every set one he would yell "You just got Ducked on" and then do like a gangsta pose. Sometime down the line he would release a rap song of the same name. Secondly id set him up with some completely random Aus female tennis player whose equally as untalented. Someone that wont overshadow him but someone who can hit a ball and be like "And Ducky is here to watch his girl do her thang". Lastly id get him to abuse the umpires mercissly. Pretty much he could air swing at the ball and blame the umpire for distracting him. Every loss and lord knows he will have alot will be the umpires fault. It would lead to a rap diss album about umpires

    Seriously whose got this fuckers mobile? Ill make him a millionaire

  10. #835
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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    If I was James Duckworth id accept the fact I have absolutely no tennis talent whatsoever and really go that edgy butthole route like Kyrgios has done but with more clothing apparrell and cheekiness too it

    So a more rap persona version of Nick Kyrgios to get him some press but not like overly bad press. More like the cheeky smartass press. First thing id do is help him create his own clothing line called "Get Ducked". After every set one he would yell "You just got Ducked on" and then do like a gangsta pose. Sometime down the line he would release a rap song of the same name. Secondly id set him up with some completely random Aus female tennis player whose equally as untalented. Someone that wont overshadow him but someone who can hit a ball and be like "And Ducky is here to watch his girl do her thang". Lastly id get him to abuse the umpires mercissly. Pretty much he could air swing at the ball and blame the umpire for distracting him. Every loss and lord knows he will have alot will be the umpires fault. It would lead to a rap diss album about umpires

    Seriously whose got this fuckers mobile? Ill make him a millionaire
    West Coast Eagles, their fans and mind altering drugs.

  11. #836
    #408 Rumblah's Avatar
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    I love Embers
    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    I just smash the keyboard and hope.

  12. #837
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wogitalia View Post
    West Coast Eagles, their fans and mind altering drugs.
    Donít lie


    All the girls would be wearing the Get Ducked Hoodie kitted out with a duck in sunglasses and gangsta chains standing in front of a graffiti wall

  13. #838
    comfortably numb flight23's Avatar
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    No idea who this dude is but I'm all for it


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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Im the hero football needs and deserves you will find

  14. #839
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flight23 View Post
    No idea who this dude is but I'm all for it


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    You can get to know him by his rap persona - Big Bad Ducky. Following his first hit single "You just got Ducked on'", Ducky is collabing with Iggy Azalea to drop his next single "All dem bitches Aces"

    I should just call the bank now. "Turn the printer on now, i dont think you will be able to match us once we go big is all"

  15. #840
    comfortably numb flight23's Avatar
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    All dem bitches aces sounds like a song




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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Im the hero football needs and deserves you will find

  16. #841
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flight23 View Post
    All dem bitches aces sounds like a song




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    Video clip writes itself too

    Ducky just serving tennis balls at girls in bikinis and them air swinging and missing the ball

    Do that for 2 minutes and you got a number 1 single

  17. #842
    Veteran BobbyVanVeen's Avatar
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    Shapovalov has a rap single called "night train". Lets just say, It wouldn't be hard for Ducky to beat that.
    Scunthorpe

  18. #843
    Veteran Triptanes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Embers View Post
    Video clip writes itself too

    Ducky just serving tennis balls at girls in bikinis and them air swinging and missing the ball

    Do that for 2 minutes and you got a number 1 single
    Thought the balls would be hitting them on the chin

  19. #844
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyVanVeen View Post
    Shapovalov has a rap single called "night train". Lets just say, It wouldn't be hard for Ducky to beat that.
    I smell a collab myself

  20. #845
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triptanes View Post
    Thought the balls would be hitting them on the chin
    Have you seen James Duckworth play? Im just hoping the ball lands on the tennis court when he serves, never mind accuracy and having it hit something.

  21. #846
    Vale Nollsy Embers's Avatar
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    Could arguably go with a stunt double though with someone who can play tennis to serve the balls I suppose to overcome that problem. Balls to the chin could work in that sense

  22. #847
    Ohh ok lol rossi's Avatar
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    Iíve missed watching Kyrgios. Absolutely taking the piss with that underarm ace.

  23. #848
    Fly or Die sblack's Avatar
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    Also the biggest pea heart in history. Good riddance.
    TTP

  24. #849
    Veteran Bunga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sblack View Post
    Also the biggest pea heart in history. Good riddance.
    Have you not heard of Bernard Tomic?
    Selfie Stick Hater

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